"We change bit by bit, day by day, habit by habit. We are continually undergoing microevolutions of the self. Each habit is like a suggestion: 'Hey, maybe this is who I am.' If you finish a book, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes reading. If you go to the gym, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes to exercise. If you practice playing the guitar, perhaps you are the type of person who likes music. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish you become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity." -- James Clear  

It's that time of year. The time when we all start to think about new years resolutions. I love new years resolutions. I always have. I know that goals can be made year round, and I do that. I still like the new year time because it feels like a natural jumping off point. The season is filled with starting over. Everyone is reflecting on the past year, and when that happens, it's also when predictions and plans are made for the coming year.  

2018 was a year of set backs for me, physically, mentally, and financially. I ended up with some serious and expensive dental work that I'm hoping has been completely corrected after months of treatment (I find out in January if there is more to be done), and I ruptured my Achilles tendon and have spent nearly 5 months, so far, recovering. Both of those things hit me hard in the pocketbook as well as helped dip me into depression, of course.  Because my Achilles leaves me with limited exercises that I can do (less and less limited), I did a lot of strict upper body work, which has inflamed my shoulder. I've had trouble with this shoulder in the past, so I shouldn't be surprised.  

So I had some setbacks, that just means that 2019 is going to be a year of recovery. I'm going to get my mobility back and I'm going to get back to heavy lifting at the gym. I'm continuing to tackle my disordered eating and getting my diet on track. I'm also getting a better budget in place so I can get back to saving money instead of paying all the doctors. 

This year I'm going BIG.   

I'm doing all of those things to recover from recent events, but this year I'm also sending a kid off to college and reorganizing my household to make that feel normal without him.  I'm also putting a focus on my career, once again. My career has been a back-burner thing for me for years. I had an unhappy household and needed to focus on my family first for many years. My career got me by, but I can do more. I haven't had a five year plan in nearly 15 years. I want that. My family is happy and healthy again and it's a great time in my life to get focused on what happens next. The kids won't be at home long, one leaves in less than a year and the other will follow shortly. I have no intention of just getting by in life forever, now is a time for action.  

Slow Progress

Achilles rupture has a notoriously slow recovery.  I know that.  It doesn't make it feel better to know that I'm right where I should be, when I'm missing all the cool weightlifting things that the rest of my peers are doing.  I was injured at the beginning of a three month strength cycle.  I had a personal goal to bask squat 200#, shoulder press 105#, and get a new PR for deadlift (I hadn't set that specific goal yet).  Both of those were reachable with a little effort, and I was excited about the cycle.  It had started off strong.  This week is the last week of it.  This is the week to see that effort pay off.  It's fun to watch all of my friends PR this week.  It's also really hard to watch.  That stuff is my favorite stuff.  I love the lifting parts of Crossfit the most.

The Moxie Games have been announced as well.  I almost did the games last year.  I lost my partner just before registration ended and the weightlifting club started back up at the same time.  Weightlifting is my first choice, so that was the direction that I went.  I judged the Moxie games just to be a part of it, but vowed to myself to compete next time.  Well, now it's next time, and I'm not going to be able to do it again. 

This week I've been wearing two shoes at work.  I'm supposed to wear my shoes at home to practice walking and work on my gait.  My current issue is less that my Achilles doesn't stretch at all, and more I have a jammed up ankle, due to inflammation and not moving it for nearly 3 months.  It gets pinched because the bones in my ankle are crunching together.  The problem is that I'm only home for a few hours a day.  I go without shoes for the time it takes met o get ready for work, then I put the boot on to leave the house.  I don't get home again until dinner time.  I wear shoes in the evening, but part of that time is sitting with the kids after chores are done.  There isn't a lot of moving around going on.  So I decided to wear shoes at work, where I actually do get some walking done, but it's safe and not full of obstacles.  I see the doctor again soon and I'm crossing my fingers that I'm done with the boot. 

The coach told me that now that the strength cycle is ending a new conditioning cycle is starting up.  I'm using this as an opportunity.  Conditioning is my least favorite part and my biggest weakness.  This is my current opportunity to make some improvements in that part of my health.  This is where I find out how to get conditioning in while my ankle mobility returns.  I'm excited to see what happens next. 

This is where I start to get real recovery and make a comeback.  This is the beginning of being better than I was. 

2 months in

On Sunday, it will be 2 months since my injury. 

I've had my moments of depression, of course, but I've done pretty well at keeping positive.  It's not going to change anything by being depressed, so I'm just setting new goals, based on where I am now.

I ran across my 2018 fitness goals and there really isn't much I can achieve on there now.  So I'm writing new ones.  I'll let you know when I have it figured out.  I think I'll firm that list up after another week or two at PT.

I'm stuck in the boot until the end of October, at least.  I'm allowed to wear shoes at home and walk carefully.  I have to start learning it somehow.  Yesterday at PT, the doc gave me some new things to work on.  All of them seem like they should be so very easy, and on my right leg they are done without thinking about it at all.  I can't do any of it on the left leg at all.  I was standing on a 3 inch (~7.5cm) platform with my left leg.  I had to bend that knee and put my right foot on the ground, while keeping my hips level.  I've lost so much strength, and have so little dorsiflexion, that I simply can't do it. I tilt my hip to get it down there.  Stand on one foot for 20 seconds.  Just stand there on the flat ground.  I can't do it without holding on to something. 

I only have a limited number of visits left that are covered by insurance, so I've cut back from 2 times per week to once a week.  I've got a list of things that I'm allowed to work on at home.  Those include all the things that I couldn't do yesterday.  I've made a list and will create a little check list. I have grand plans to do those things at open gym 4+ times per week and at home when I can't get to the gym the rest of the time.  I'm throwing in some other open gym goals as well.  So I'll be at the gym a lot again.  (I've been going, but only half as often as I had been going).  I'm excited to ramp it up again. 

I know that recovery is LONG for this.  I'm following a professional Crossfitter with an achilles injury, who, at one year post surgery, can only do a half calf raise on that foot.  I know it's going to take awhile.  I don't like it, but I accept that it's a darn slow process.  To not accept it lets the defeat and depression creep in. 

6+ weeks post surgery

It's been a few weeks.  Little has changed.  I am still in a boot. I have one wedge left in it.  I still have crutches, but I am able to use my foot to sort of walk now.  Partial weight bearing, as tolerated. 

The focus in PT isn't solely on my foot these days.  There is a lot of hip mobility stuff, because when you are in a boot for 7+ weeks (so far) you never really put your leg behind you.  It's all in front.  Think about it.  Even "walking" with a boot keeps your knee in front of the other one.  It's a weird limpy hobble.  And my hip is SORE.  It's sore from not using it the way it's meant to be used and it's sore from the mobility that I'm doing at the gym to combat it, and it might be sore from the PT, but they really have me do a lot less than I do at the gym. 

This week I'm putting more weight on it at PT.  I've been doing stuff without the boot on.  I shift weight from one foot to the other, which is painless.  They had me stand on a block of foam and try to balance and that was really hard.  I've also been doing calf raises, but seated.  You know, when your standing and you rise up on your toes?  Those.  But not standing.  And my calf was incredibly pained the next few days.  It was the first time I've used in in nearly 2 months and it doesn't know how to work anymore.  That simple motion had me worried that I'd re-injured it.  Really, that was how much it hurt the next few days.  It's feeling better today (not great), and the PT said that it's pretty normal, but I noticed that he did scale back what I did there yesterday, and he spent a lot more time on massage and manipulation. 

We talked about getting into a shoe in the next few weeks.  I have one wedge to go still and then a week in the boot at plantar neutral before I go to a shoe.  And with how sore I am this week, I'm not in a huge hurry.  I DO want to be in shoes again, but not in such a rush that I hurt it again, or have trouble.  I'm a little afraid of it, honestly.

I've been hit and miss at the gym.  I'm not even making excuses not to go. I get a good workout when I go, but the coach has to spend so much attention on me that I feel self conscious.  I can't get out or put away my own equipment because I need both hands on crutches.  I've been only going about 2 days a week.  I've set a goal to get there 4+ from here on out.  I have to get over the hurdle.  I was in the committed club twice, and I'll get there again.  I hate that I've missed it for nearly 2 more months.  This week I went twice and the off days I went to PT.  So, it's not like I'm doing nothing. 

Since I'm not at the gym, I've put a little more focus on food.  Which might end up being the silver lining in this fiasco.  I'm forcing myself to get some control in the kitchen.

Week 3 after Surgery

The steri strips came off by themselves this week.  I'm super impressed with how great the scar looks.  It's very minimal. 

I had several PT appointments.  The first was great.  The second was less awesome.  On Friday it was swollen and sore.  She assured me that the next week is going to be worse because we are going to take out another wedge and possibly try walking with crutches.  I'm excited about both of those things.  I worked hard all weekend to get and keep the swelling down. 

All of my muscles are super sore.  Especially my hips.  Both in different ways.  I ended up getting a massage on Friday after PT.  I have a friend from Crossfit who is a massage therapist.  She did a great job. 

I slept really well on Friday and Saturday night.  And I took a really long nap on Saturday.  On Sunday, I felt AMAZING.  It's great to have some sleep finally.  I hope that maybe I've crossed that bridge and can get back to a normal amount of sleep each night. 

My amazing mom came over to change my sheets again and help me with some chores.  I'm so lucky to have her around! 

This coming week is an incredibly busy one.  I'm hosting a yard sale on Friday and Saturday.  I've got PT and a massage scheduled.  And I'm planning to get to the gym 3-4 times this week.  I only got there once last week because I was so sore and so very tired.  I'm optimistic for the coming week, because I had such good sleep the last 2 nights. 

Looking forward to making some progress this week.

Update

Last weekend was Labor Day and so I had a nice relaxing three day weekend.  Just kidding.  My mom and I went on the hunt for an inexpensive shower chair.  It seems ridiculous to have to pay $50 for a bench that goes in the shower.  I ended up finding a chair for $40.  Still more than I wanted to pay, but I really want to be able to shower too, so I bought it.  Injuries are expensive. She helped me put it together and haul it upstairs.  

Then she did the best thing anyone could have done.  She helped me change the sheets on my bed.  I changed them myself before the surgery and slept on the sofa for days.  I imagined how hard it would be to change the sheets while on crutches and non-weight bearing. I was right, it's hard. I'm not sleeping well and clean sheets are like sleeping pills for me, so I was hopeful that it would help me.  It didn't help much, but gosh it felt good.  

While she was helping me she saw the half started project in my craft area.  I had started to rearrange the sewing and craft room before I was injured.  Now it's difficult to move furniture so the project was on hold.  Mom made it her mission to help me get that done so that I can do some crafting.  It feels amazing to have that done.  Though it felt rotten to watch her do all the heavy lifting while I directed and hopped around.  I did all that I could do.  

By the end of Sunday, my foot was quite swollen.  I'd maybe done too much.  So I sat and relaxed a lot the rest of the evening and most of Monday.  I did get to go to a friends house for a bbq on Monday.  That was awesome!  

Yesterday, I had a teeth cleaning appointment and an appointment to finally get the implant tooth seated.  So now I have no more gap, where a tooth was pulled out.  The implant looks better than a crown, and it almost feels like I just have a tooth there.  I'm impressed.  

Wednesday, I was back at physical therapy.  I have to say, it's almost luxurious, so far.  I'm enjoying it.  I get a hot, moist, wrap around my foot for a while when I got there.  Then the PT spent a lot of time massaging my calf and ankle.  The scar tissue is adhered, so I have some instructions to do massage myself to help try to break the adhesions and get the skin gliding again.  There is only one tender spot.  It is below the scar, near where the tendon attaches to the ankle bone. 

we were able to remove on of the wedges from the boot.  So my foot is now a little closer to being flat.   There are 4 wedges in total.  

I tried to pick up marbles with my toes.  That was frustratingly difficult.  I didn't manage it.  Instead, my exercise is to "grab" a towel with my toes and drag it to me.  I was able to that better, but it was still no easy task.  My favorite exercise was when she had a board that rocked, and I was to push the toes down and then rock the heal down.  I could use the other foot to help push the heal down, and I got a really nice stretch from that.  I did another 15 minute ice compression session before leaving.  

I left today feeling much better than I did last week.  My progress is apparent and I'm certain that the 8 month time line is going to be too long.  I'm doing what I'm told, no more, and never less.  And I'll be going to PT religiously, until I'm walking again, at a minimum.  I'm looking forward to building up my squat again and jumping.  

My right leg is sore and tired.  I'm going to be focusing on that ankle quite a lot now too.  I do NOT want to do this with that leg.  

My shoulder is also feeling rotten now. I'm afraid that will slow me down a lot too, because all I can do right now is upper body.  I'll be doing a lot of Crossover Symmetry and some ROMWod stuff to get that worked out. 

First Physical Therapy

Yesterday was my first round of physical therapy, after rupturing my Achilles and having surgery 2 weeks ago.  I was very nervous about it.  While I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, my tolerance for *anticipating* pain is very low.  I didn't know what to expect, but I was certain there would be discomfort.  My nerves were high. 

It turned out to be quite pleasant for the most part.  This was the first one, so there was a lot of time taken on measurments.  She measured angles that each foot moved and how mush swelling there was.  The swelling was really low.  There was a 1.5 cm difference, which I was told was amazing.  The movement is disappointing.  I can barely move that foot AT ALL.  

She gave me a gentle calf massage and then did some work trying to move my ankle a bit.  I never once felt pain.  I did feel stretching in my calf.  She gave me some exercises to do each day.  They are so basic.  I have to gently pull my foot back with a strap, stretching the calf.  I have to do ankle rotations, and toe curls.  That's pretty much all the movement I can do alone anyway.  Doing them there, with supervision, made me almost pass out.  There was no pain, but I compensated for it by getting hot, dizzy, and clammy.  

She gave me a very loose timeline of what is going to happen.  The time could change depending on my progress, but I intend to do everything I'm told and do my best at everything, so I can make the timeline short. 

I'll remove a wedge from my boot each week until I am plantar neutral. Meaning flat footed.  This is an 8 week process and there is no speeding it up.  In two weeks though, I'll start putting some weight on the foot and maybe rocking back and forth.  Not walking, but one step closer.  At some point I go to one crutch, and then to walking in the boot with no crutches.  Then we work on walking in a shoe again.  She said that she thinks I'll be done in 8 months.  EIGHT MONTHS.  

As soon as she said "8 months" darkness crept in.  I KNOW this is a long process. I've been told it's a 6 month recovery.  I'm very hopeful that she is saying 8 months so that when I'm done at 6 months, I'll be so happy.  She said that learning to walk on stairs in a shoe is the last thing.  But suddenly it's 8 months and that is sooo long.  That ruins any chance of participating in the Open, let alone improving (I knew I wouldn't been making strides this year, but I thought I might be able to at least participate).  

She knew a little about Crossfit because she said that we'll get back to rowing and wall balls in time, but they all need ankle mobility. 

I'm not sleeping well.  I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm wide awake for hours.  Once I finally do fall back to sleep it feels like a very short time before the alarm is going off.  Because it is... 

So, no sleep and dashed hopes.  It's an open door for depression to creep in.  I did go to the gym to help ward that off a bit.  It only helped a little.  Coach Amy had some great ideas for my participation this time, so that was great!  But not being able to participate normally is going to get to me if I let it.  It's something I'll actively have to battle.  It's depressing to simply have to let someone else bring you weights and not being able to put stuff away after your workout.  The coaches are very accommodating and have assured me that it's not a problem for them, but it still feels yucky. 

Ruptured Achilles Tendon

On August 7th, I ruptured my left Achilles tendon.  I thought I'd write about it here.  I haven't written in awhile anyway, and I expect I'll have updates as the time goes on.  Perhaps, this will help another person get through a catastrophic injury like this one. 

I've been consistently hitting the gym 5 days a week for a few months.  I wrote earlier about the Consistent Club.  I *almost* made it in March, April and May, and I did it in June and July.  I've been feeling really good and very proud of my efforts.  I'm not losing weight still, but my skills are returning.  I had set a goal to dramatically improve my Open scores this year.  

August 7, was just like any other day.  I was at the gym at the regular hour, trying to plan the best way to finish the WOD.  The WOD was 4 minutes to do 15-12-9 Wall ball and pull ups, and as many double unders as possible in the remaining time, 4 minute rest, then 4 minutes of 15-12-9, wall balls and toes to bar, dubs in remaining time, 4 minute rest, then 4 minutes of 15-12-9 wall ball and pulls up, dubs in remaining time.  The posted score is how many double unders you get through.   There was an option to scale to 12-9-6 to make sure there was time to get some jumping rope done.  I was set to scale, but decided to see if I could do it at Rx time first round.  I did 15 and 12, checked the time remaining, and did 6 on the last round so I'd get at least a few jumps.  I got 5 double unders.  I heard a pop, and it felt like something had hit the back of my leg.  When I landed on the jump it felt like I was standing on a 25# plate on one foot.  I actually looked around to see what I was standing on, thinking that there shouldn't be anything there, and how weird that was.  The person jumping next to me thought I'd whipped myself with the rope and was looking for marks on my leg!  

There was a 4 minute rest and everyone was collapsed on the ground, recovering.  Including me. Only I wasn't trying to catch my breath as much as I was trying to figure out what to do now.  I had already guessed that my Achilles had ruptured.  I clearly remember when Julie Foucher had the same thing happen during the Crossfit games in 2015.  Her description and what I felt were the same.  

The ER doctor was very nice.  He had every student he could find come in and feel my heel.  The only time it hurt to touch was when he touched my calf.  The ankle was painless, but the calf was very achy and hurt to touch.  We spent very little time in the ER.  He gave me a boot, crutches, painkillers, and referral to a surgeon.  

I saw the surgeon for a consult on the 9th (Thursday), and he scheduled surgery for the following Monday (13th).  There is no waiting around.  

The surgery was easy.  The surgeon said that there was a pretty big gap between the ends, but they went together really well and this will be a good outcome.  Yay!  

I was in a cast (they called it a splint), for 2 weeks.  My toes were pointed and my foot was HOT.  I wore a compression sock on the other leg.  As much as I didn't like wearing a sock, I do like how it kept my ankle from being swollen.  It was still not difficult to give that up when I had the chance.  

I was getting around OK with the splint.  I have a scooter, which I tricked out with streamers, a bell, and a basket.  I am able to cook and clean and get around the office with the scooter.  I have a bedroom on the second story and three steps to get into the house, so crutches are a must sometimes.  In fact, I've found that they are easier if I'm not going to be going long distances, like going to the store.  It's a hassle to get it in and out of the car and quicker to crutch places.  Because I do Crossfit, my shoulders and arms are not sore at all from crutching around. I'm really proud of that.  

The cast came off on the 28th.  I'm in a boot now with wedges to keep my heel up.  Actually, the wedges haven't arrived yet (mix up at the doctors office, or something), and so I have a block in there at the moment.  The wedges arrive soon and I'll replace the block, with something that is maybe a little more comfortable.  It's not like I'm standing on it though, it's just in the boot keeping my heel from lowering too much and pulling on the tendon. I'm non-weight-bearing for awhile still. 

The boot is harder to get around in that the cast was.  It's heavy and cumbersome, and it sticks out a long way.  It was painful to wear at first as the weight of it seemed to pull and stretch my leg a little bit.  After a couple of days, I've gotten used to it and the pulling has stretched the leg a little and it's not so painful now.  

Consistency

I've vowed a billion times to be more consistent.  Also to exaggerate less...  So maybe not a billion times, but certainly many times.

My gym just started the "Consistency Club".  They are basically just calling you out when you are consistent in your gym going.  Which is AWESOME!  I even tried to start a movement like that myself and bought a Crossfit t-shirt for whoever got there the most.  I thought I'd get myself a t-shirt, but several people made it to the gym far more than I did!  I happily forked over the money for someone elses t-shirt!

The club started the first of March.  And the rules are simple.  Come to the gym 20+ times in the month.  They will give you a t-shirt after a number of months and a shout out on social media (which I dig), plus a chance to get a free membership tryout for a friend (I've been trying to coerce some friends into joining me and this might be how I get it done!). 

I was all in to start the month.  However, I was training for a Weightlifting meet at the beginning of the month and my coach spelled out the days and the workouts that I should do (factoring in the Open).  I wasn't there 5 days a week.  But... I thought I could make it up after the meet.  I really like winning contests.   During the 3rd week, life happened.  I was able to schedule around a band concert, but not around a work dinner, or the loosy goosy schedule (we'll be there some time between 2:00 and 6:00) of the carpet cleaners that I desperately needed to have at my house.  I don't tend to go on Saturdays, but I should plan on a few if I'm going to win this bish.  In short, even being there every day this week, I'll be short by 2 days. 

I'm disappointed far more than I should be.  I made it to the gym more often than I normally do, so that is something to say.  And I've got my sights set on showing April what I've got! 

UPDATED: Crossfit Open

There are 5 weeks in the Crossfit Open, which is open for every athlete to participate in.  They give you a choice to participate as an Rx athlete or a scaled athlete.  You can choose week by week which way you want to go.  You get a better ranking if you participate Rx, of course, but you're still on the board as a scaled athlete.  

Four weeks have passed already.  I have Rx'd two of the four, and scaled the other two.  I don't think I've ever Rx'd more than one Open WOD per year before.  

18.1 was Toes to bar, dumbell clean and jerk and a row.  I scaled that one, so instead of toes to bar, I did knee raises.  I didn't do them well.  I have some work to do there.  

18.2 was dumbbell squats and bar facing burpees.  I was able to Rx this one.  I was sort of surprised at how far I got.  I do burpees, kind of ... messy.  I hurl myself at the floor and climb back up.  The standard to Rx was to jump your feet out and then back in, rather than stepping up.  I totally did it.  Slow, but I did it!  

18.3 was a LOT of double unders, Overhead squats, more jumping rope (dubs), ring muscle ups, dubs, dumbbell snatch, dubs, then bar muscle ups.  That is the Rx.  Scaled was single unders, less weight on the OH squat, singles, chest to bar pull ups, etc...  I scaled this one first, because I haven't done a chest to bar pull up before and I figured if I'm going to get it soon, this would be when.  I wasn't even close, but I spent 10 minutes in the WOD trying my best.  I redid this one Rx.  I'd be stuck at the same place, because I can easily squat the 90 pound bar, and can chip through dubs.  I'm glad I did.  I scored in the top half of the gym! 

18.4 was a heavy deadlift, and handstand pushups.  The WOD was a benchmark WOD called Diane, followed by a Heavy Diane.  If you got through the first set, you got to do it again, heavier and instead of HSPU, you got to walk on your hands.  Scaled had lighter deadlifts and hand release pushups.  Instead of handstand walks it was a bear crawl.  I didn't Rx this one because I haven't ever got a strict hand release push up before.  I did 26 of them in this workout!  Not speedy, but I've never done it before so it's pretty cool.  

There is one more WOD left.  I'll try to remember to update this to fill in that blank next week.  It is announced on Thursday night.  No one has any idea what is in store this week.  History tells us that it should be thrusters and be a task priority WOD (no time cap), but the Open is very different this year and that could just be out the window.  

So far, I'm damn proud of what I've done.  I'm feeling good and I'm setting goals again. It feels good to feel good.  (I also did a weightlifiting competition this weekend.  It was a learning experience. I'll write about it a little later).

UPDATE:  18.5 was a repeat from 2011.  Scaled was 3 thrusters at 45# then 3 jumping chin over bar pullups.  Then 6 of each, then 9, 12, 15, etc.  for 7 minutes.  I scaled (RX was 65# - which I have - and chest to bar pull ups - which I've already proven I can't get during this Open, so I scaled). I got 5 reps into the round of 15.  Which is further than I expected!  I didn't hate this WOD.  I'd do it again, happily.  

Hashtag, I'm in the Open

I'm in the Open.  I went back and forth about whether to do it this year, or let it go by.  I was leaning to "let it go by". Then I got recruited.  I'll explain.

My gym is awesome.  Crossfit is awesome.  The Open is awesome.  But there are a lot of people from our gym, and across the world it seems (I've gleaned from social media comments), who don't want to give Crossfit corporate $20 to be measured against athletes around the world.  I totally get that.  I'm no where near the kind of fitness that will get me even to Regionals.  And I stack up pretty low (lower every year, because the Open gets bigger every year, not because my fitness is declining).  $20 to do the same WOD.  It seems like a bit of a waste to some people.

Our coaches saw that and answered.  We do a Friday Night Lights event every Friday of The Open.  Anyone who has signed up is drafted to a team, or after the draft stragglers are recruited.  Teams get points for having the top scorers from the gym and for spirit.  It's a lot of fun.  This year they aren't requiring participants to sign up for the official Open.  Instead, you can donate your $20 directly to the gym and they will use the funds for something new and fun for the gym.  I'd say that about half of the participants went that route. 

I was going to skip the whole thing.  I didn't sign up for the draft.  I've been weight training and not doing Crossfit for a few months and before that coming out of a period of the blues where I didn't get enough Crossfit in anyway.  I wasn't feeling up to it.  But, one of the teams asked me to join and though I explained my situation, she said they wanted me anyway.  I didn't say no.  I signed up for the Open (if I'm doing it, I might as well make it 4 years in a row). 

And so far, I'm SUPER happy with myself.  I scaled the 18.1 because I can't do toes to bar yet.  I found out that I don't hang from the bar enough anymore.  It was super difficult to do knee raises, as my grip kept giving way because I'm so heavy and out of practice.  But I liked where I ended up scoring.  I Rx'd 18.2.  I can do all the movements, even if I do them slowly.  Honestly, I don't think I was very much slower doing the burpees RX than I would have been had I scaled them.  Other than a few seconds slower from jumping over the bar rather than stepping over, I think my burpee time would have been similar.  The squat time could have been faster with lighter weight.  I had trouble keeping one of the dumbbells on my shoulder for some reason.  I should have planned a better way to hold them up there.  In any case, I'm really happy with that score as well. 

I'm not scoring top points for my team, but I'm giving it my all and getting the participation points necessary.  And I'm a pretty great cheerleader for our athletes.  My team is the "Swole Hammies".  So go Pig or Go Home.  ;)

Nutrishop

There is a supplement store in our area called Nutrishop.  They've been open for 4 years (I asked).  I don't know if they started doing their challenges when they opened or if they have just taken off more recently.  I've been seeing social media about them for about a year.

Let me sum it up.  They do 7-8 week weightloss challenges.  They give out a pretty great prize package for the top 5 winners.  There is no cost to join the challenge, but they will do their best to upsell their supplements.  There *is* a minimum amount to spend in order to win some of the prizes.
They have a fancy scale.  A person stands on it with bare feet and grabs some handles and it measures weight (of course), as well as the amount of water, fat, and muscle.  They hand over a print out with those details and more.

I'm not a supplement person.  I'm a skeptic about that stuff.  I know there is a place for most of those things, but I don't know if the place is to help people lose weight.  I suspect that it's to make the supplement companies richer.  I do think there is a place for protein shakes and BCAA's, but the other things seem like a "magic pill" for weightloss and I haven't seen evidence they work.

They have a nutritionist who has put together some prepackaged meal plans for the challenge.  There seems to be different plans for different goals.  For instance if your priority goal is to gain muscle you would have a different plan that the person who wants to lose fat. They sell the plan for $25 (which, coincidentally is the minimum for getting in the raffle), or you can buy a $99 supplement package.

So, while I don't think that supplements are great, I do think a nutritionists help for my meal planning could be helpful.  I could use that kind of help.  I paid the $25 for the meal plan.  I was disappointed that it was basically one sheet of paper and had a LOT of supplements that were suggested at different times of the day. But they are in the business to sell that stuff, so I guess it makes sense to add it in.  I don't know what I was expecting, but it was more than a glossy sheet of paper with ads.

I'm following the meal plan.  I put it all in MFP to calculate how many calories and what the macros are, because it doesn't seem like enough food.  The calories are less than 1500 per day,  I added a 3 ounce protein before working out which added a few calories.
The macros are really close to what my goal is.  I am showing that I was at 41% Carbs, 34% fat, and 25% protein (before I added 3 more ounces of protein).   My target is 40%, 30%, and 30%.  So, it's a little light on protein for my goal, but I can adjust that a little without adding a lot of calories.

So there is plenty of food on the plan, which tells me that I eat WAY too much. I need that sort of wake up call occasionally, I guess. $25 was too much to spend to learn this though.

I put new batteries in my food scale and started this shindig off.  Unfortunately, I started in the middle of the week with no time for meal prep.  So this week is going to be tough.  Wednesdays are crammed.  My usual schedule is to come home from work, switch a load of laundry, get ready for the gym, address anything the kids need, go to Weightlifting, grab Subway sandwiches, rush home to drop them off, go to tap class, head home by 8:30, last minute chores, then head to bed (hopefully around 9:00).  Notice that I don't have EAT scheduled in there for myself?  I do have time for a shake between weightlifting and tap, but not to cook something.  I have been having a protein rich snack before heading to bed.  I know I need to do better on Wednesdays.  The rest of the week is a little more relaxed, instead of tap I have "study" on the schedule, and I do that at home after I cook.

This shop has created a gold mine.  I just have to say.  I know that it's good to help people lose weight and I'm already thankful for the eye opener in my own menu, but holy cow!  In the first 3 days that sign ups started for this years first challenge, they had ~250 people come in.  There is a 6 day period to sign up so I'd expect double that by the end. These are just challenge people and do not include the regulars who come in for supplements.  The challenge is free, and I don't expect that everyone paid for the meal plan, but I'll bet that most of us did.  Otherwise, what's the point?  Just come in to get weighed?  Not only that, I saw several people buying kegs of protein powder (they gave a free sample and shaker).  There were bottles, jars, and tubs of stuff changing hands there in the half hour I was there.  I know they do this challenge several times a year.  I'll bet once a quarter.  And I know lots of people who have done it more than once.  It seems everyone is successful in this endeavor.

In any case, I'm on another challenge.  I'd like to get the scale to shift a little in the downward direction and make me feel like I'm making some progress.  You know that I will let you know how it goes.

Happy New Year!

Happy happy happy New Year to you all! I soooo love this time of year! I always have a renewed sense of commitment and determination and so far this year I have to say that I am feeling on fire! Some people don't believe in New Year's Resolutions and I have to say I don't really either. What I do believe in though, is setting goals!! I am very very passionate about this and before I talk more about my process, I want to tell you why.

Once upon a time, I used to be very very very overweight. When I was very overweight, I wasn't very happy deep down inside and although I did want to do something about that, subconsciously I had some issues going on that caused me to self sabotage every time I attempted to. For a period of time my life was what I would consider a complete mess with no direction. I just kept on keeping on, doing everything I needed to do and not much else. My life was a constant merry go round of doing everything that I could for others and nothing for myself. I spent so much time doing the urgent stuff, that I didn't have time to do the important stuff. Why? There were many reasons, but one of the biggest ones was because it meant I didn't have time to focus on myself and everything I didn't like about myself and my life. Long story short - we could be here for a very long time otherwise - one day I realised that if I didn't do something about my weight, then if I was lucky enough to still be here, I would end up being alone on the couch with no life. My daughter was growing up and would be going off overseas for an undetermined length of time and I was a single mum. In that moment I decided that that wasn't the life that I wanted. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to have someone to share my life with and I was in no shape to be sharing my life with anyone in the state I was in. I was a walking heart attack waiting to happen AND I didn't love myself, so how could I possibly love anyone else?

So what does this have to do with New Year's resolutions or goals? Well up until this point, of course every New Year I know that I "told" myself that this would be the year that I would start to release my weight, but it was only in my head. No one else knew that that was my goal. The New Year after I had decided that I needed to change my story was no different. I started the year making a silent promise to myself that this would be the year. It did feel different this time though. I went back to weight watchers and tried to follow their plan. I joined a local curves and tried to exercise there the recommended 3 sessions per week. I got to the end of that year and I had managed to lose 10kgs - which was great - however with over 100kg to lose, I knew that I needed to try to do better the next year otherwise it was going to take me 10 years or more to lose the weight and I wasn't getting any younger! So the next New Year's Day I took some time out by myself and reflected on the year gone past. What I had done. What I had achieved. What I did well and what I could improve on. Then I wrote down a list of goals for the next year. I had never actually written a list before and I thought that maybe physically writing a list might help in some way. I figured it couldn't hurt! I wrote a list of 10 things, with releasing weight at the top of the list and then I made sure that they were all SMART goals. That year I didn't get everything achieved on my list, but I DID get a LOT more achieved than I would have if I didn't go through that process. The biggest achievement of that year, was that I released 50kg. My goal for the year was 60kg, but I was definitely ok with 50!

Each and every year now I have the same process on New Year's Day, although I go a bit further these days. Now as well as making them SMART goals, on New Year's Day I pick 2-3 of the ones that are most important to me that I want to work on for the first quarter of the year, and then I write a list of actions that I need to take to achieve them. At the end of each quarter I sit down and evaluate where I am at, pick my 2-3 to work on for the next quarter, write down my action steps and off I go again. I also write down WHY I want to achieve those goals. You need to have a really powerful WHY. Your WHY - and also your why nots - are the key to everything. I'm not perfect. Things don't always happen when I plan for it to happen, but I ALWAYS get there in the end. One of the biggest lessons I have learned, is that the ONLY time we fail, is if we give up, and I NEVER give up if I really really want something. Sometimes it just takes me a lot longer to achieve it than I planned. I always learn along the way though, and I truly know that everything happens when it is meant to!

One of my biggest goals for this year is to publish my book. I finally finished it in November after starting it 3 years ago! See what I mean? I didn't plan for it to take me 3 years - I planned for it to take me 1 month initially - but I never gave up on it and I DID finally finish it! It WILL be published in the very near future. I am currently in the process of sourcing a professional editor and I also took massive action on New Year's Day and actually submitted it to 3 publishers. Whether it is picked up by one of them or whether I go down the self publishing road makes no difference to me really. I set myself the goal to write it and now I have set myself the goal of publishing it and publish it I WILL.

I don't know if you have a New Year's Resolution or goal setting process, but if you don't, I would highly recommend it! I wish for you a wildly successful and exciting 2018. My years since I released my weight have all been wonderful and this year will be no exception. I do however, absolutely know that it will be one of my best to date! I am so excited for all that it will bring and I truly wish the same for you!!

Here's to an amazing 2018!!

Shari

xoxo