First Physical Therapy

Yesterday was my first round of physical therapy, after rupturing my Achilles and having surgery 2 weeks ago.  I was very nervous about it.  While I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, my tolerance for *anticipating* pain is very low.  I didn't know what to expect, but I was certain there would be discomfort.  My nerves were high. 

It turned out to be quite pleasant for the most part.  This was the first one, so there was a lot of time taken on measurments.  She measured angles that each foot moved and how mush swelling there was.  The swelling was really low.  There was a 1.5 cm difference, which I was told was amazing.  The movement is disappointing.  I can barely move that foot AT ALL.  

She gave me a gentle calf massage and then did some work trying to move my ankle a bit.  I never once felt pain.  I did feel stretching in my calf.  She gave me some exercises to do each day.  They are so basic.  I have to gently pull my foot back with a strap, stretching the calf.  I have to do ankle rotations, and toe curls.  That's pretty much all the movement I can do alone anyway.  Doing them there, with supervision, made me almost pass out.  There was no pain, but I compensated for it by getting hot, dizzy, and clammy.  

She gave me a very loose timeline of what is going to happen.  The time could change depending on my progress, but I intend to do everything I'm told and do my best at everything, so I can make the timeline short. 

I'll remove a wedge from my boot each week until I am plantar neutral. Meaning flat footed.  This is an 8 week process and there is no speeding it up.  In two weeks though, I'll start putting some weight on the foot and maybe rocking back and forth.  Not walking, but one step closer.  At some point I go to one crutch, and then to walking in the boot with no crutches.  Then we work on walking in a shoe again.  She said that she thinks I'll be done in 8 months.  EIGHT MONTHS.  

As soon as she said "8 months" darkness crept in.  I KNOW this is a long process. I've been told it's a 6 month recovery.  I'm very hopeful that she is saying 8 months so that when I'm done at 6 months, I'll be so happy.  She said that learning to walk on stairs in a shoe is the last thing.  But suddenly it's 8 months and that is sooo long.  That ruins any chance of participating in the Open, let alone improving (I knew I wouldn't been making strides this year, but I thought I might be able to at least participate).  

She knew a little about Crossfit because she said that we'll get back to rowing and wall balls in time, but they all need ankle mobility. 

I'm not sleeping well.  I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm wide awake for hours.  Once I finally do fall back to sleep it feels like a very short time before the alarm is going off.  Because it is... 

So, no sleep and dashed hopes.  It's an open door for depression to creep in.  I did go to the gym to help ward that off a bit.  It only helped a little.  Coach Amy had some great ideas for my participation this time, so that was great!  But not being able to participate normally is going to get to me if I let it.  It's something I'll actively have to battle.  It's depressing to simply have to let someone else bring you weights and not being able to put stuff away after your workout.  The coaches are very accommodating and have assured me that it's not a problem for them, but it still feels yucky.